My brother had emergency surgery to remove an infected aortic aneurysm. After he left the hospital, I drove to Florida to help out with his recovery.

But once there, I realized the real reason I went was so that I could be with him. Seeing my brother alive and breathing was oh, so relieving. We almost lost him.

I had 7 hours to fill on my way back home and grew tired of the podcast I was listening to, so I turned it off and prayed my thoughts, and what I said was downright disturbing. I had a lot more things bubbling beneath the surface than I had any idea of.

The next morning, I wrote them all down, and then I sat with them–the sighs, the whys, the what-ifs, the whining. I wondered if I needed to take some kind of action to change my situation, only I didn’t know what action I might take exactly, and honestly, I was exhausted just writing it all down.

I looked out my front window to the yard. The sun was streaming through the trees in the early light. I told God that I wanted a sign of some kind that he heard me and was with me, “…like right now,” I said, because I was feeling so miserably low, so much lower-than-low, really.

And just as I said. “…like right now,” a crow flew across my window, and then another, and another, and another, and before I knew it, a whole flock of foraging crows had flown by and settled in the massive oak across the yard, as if they were gathering at a Roadkill Smorgasbord and had to wait for seating.

This was so unlike anything I’d ever seen, but what I felt was what mattered most to me, which was this: God heard and cared for me. It was a rare moment, not only to see God respond to my heartfelt prayer, but to feel him pull me right out of despair and into joy.

The crows brought no answers to my questions, so why the relief? It was the same way I’d felt with my brother–knowing God was with me was all I really needed.

“Whom have I in heaven? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever…

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds,” Ps‬ ‭73‬:‭25-28‬ ‭NIV‬‬.