This is Part 2 of a two-post series. It picks up right where Part 1 left off. (A list of all “Ten Truths” can be found at the end of this post for reference.)

6. I can manage treats.

Sugar is my biggest food temptation, so my “10 Truths” would have to include managing treats. In those early days, my treat of choice was Krispy Kreme donuts. I was afraid I couldn’t give them up on my fitness journey. I was afraid if I tried and failed, I’d end up tossing fitness, not KK’s.

So I decided never to try. I allowed myself one or two donuts a week, always waiting ’til I was hungry and stopping when slightly queasy, which I suppose was a kind of satisfaction.

Surprisingly, KK’s were the proving ground for this eat-whatever-you-want idea, one that felt bizarre, even to me. But here’s something I didn’t see coming. One day, I realized that the queasiness I felt was more like a tummy ache that took the rest of the day to get over. I kept saying, “Yes, you can have it. Do you really want it?” when I ate one, but eventually I realized. No, I don’t want it.

And I haven’t had one since–not because I can’t have it, but because I don’t want it.

Here’s where I’ve landed, the happy place where I co-exist with sugar: I have one small treat every day—two Dove dark chocolate Promises or a handful of Moose Munch. If I slip up and have too much, I don’t shame myself. Life’s not perfect, and I don’t have to be either. I just wait until I’m hungry again.

I realize that sugar has no nutritional value, and I can live more healthfully-ever-after without it. But for me, having treats is part of living happily-ever-after. I never treat myself like an orphan, who only gets porridge or a plate of veggies. I don’t eat broccoli, brussel sprouts or bok choy, unless I like those foods and want to eat them.

Eating what we like matters quite a lot in the overall enjoyment of living. It respects our bodies and their desire for pleasure. If you’ve been saying no to what you love for a long time, you may need a recovery period, where you allow yourself what you’ve been denying. You may want to eat only donuts every time you’re hungry (fill in the word “donut” with your treat of choice). Your boundary is to be hungry before you start and to stop when satisfied.

7. I can focus on living.

Focusing on food will never break my obsession with food. Who stops drinking by learning to drink well? Idols have to be forsaken, not indulged.

Dieting focuses me on food and on how bad I look now or how good I’m hoping to look when it’s over. But being obsessed with what I’m eating and how I look is the two-headed beast I’m already battling that’s making me fat in the first place!

How can I leave food alone if I meticulously plan, measure, count, shop, gather recipes, prepare, cook, consume, clean up, and digest, and do it all over again, three times a day? If you had a problem with TV watching or shopping, how successful would you be getting free if you focused on doing it more intentionally every day?

Besides, has life boiled down to only this—how I look and what I eat? Well, yes. When I’m preoccupied with dieting and exercise and what I see in the mirror and on the scales, that’s exactly what my life becomes. There’s only so much time in a day, and dieting, exercising, and sizing up one’s self takes a considerable amount of it.

We don’t need to control food. We must learn to control ourselves. Rather than fighting ourselves with rigid dieting and exercise, we befriend ourselves with freedom: “Yes, you can have it!” we declare. “Do you really want it?” we ask ourselves. “I’m hungry,” or “I’m satisfied,” we say truthfully.

You only get one self, one life. What if you treated yourself now as if you’re already your best self? Why let extra pounds tell you who you are? Why wait to be happy ’til you’re rockin’ the body of your dreams? What if you never get there?

Imagine how it would feel to believe instead: “I’m free to be happy now. I’m free to be healthy now. I’m free to eat anytime I’m hungry now. I’m free to eat exactly what I want now–not one day when I hit my goal weight. NOW!”

8. I can celebrate healthy choices.

I learned to look at other numbers, not the ones on the scale. I got baselines for strength, endurance, flexibility, blood pressure, and pulse at the Y. At every check-in, my numbers improved.

I saw a different picture than the one the scales painted. I was getting stronger and more flexible. My blood pressure and pulse fell.

How much I weighed—what kind of measure was that? It was just the amount of matter my body contained. The other numbers told me I was healthier. I celebrated with donuts, of course.

I didn’t know then that I was on a journey that would include weight loss. I thought I was giving up the dream of looking fabulous at 40. If I’d been trying to lose weight, I’d have never made it to fit. I certainly wouldn’t have celebrated along the way. I’d have thought I needed to lose weight first.

But the best celebrating I did was every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to bed and every minute in between. I was free. After years on my hamster wheel, I felt giddy to be off. Rather than sitting on the porch watching my kids play, I did sprints with them in the backyard. WE played.

And then, I had to buy new clothes. That was a happy day.

9. I can push restart now.

What if you lived so that food was fuel and fun and not the thing you were afraid of? What if you learned to control yourself because you trusted and liked yourself and knew that you could be trusted?

And what if when you messed up, you could push a restart button that skipped past the shame and landed you right where you were before the mess-up–a Magic Do-Over Button, right at your fingertips?

Believing that I can push restart now is that Magic Do-Over Button. No matter how much you just ate, you can push restart now, and it’s over and gone and now begins. Embracing now, you “forget what lies behind and reach forward to what lies ahead,” Philippians, 3:13. And you simply wait to get hungry again. You wait every moment between your last nacho and your next enchilada. No shame. Only, “Oops! Need a restart!”

And you’ve got one.

Restarting means re-believing. When I was afraid I was going to regain weight, I started regaining weight. I had to remind myself what ten years of dieting had taught me: I couldn’t lose weight by trying. But since losing weight was no longer my goal–being healthy was–I wasn’t in the dungeon, chained to the mirror and the refrigerator anymore.

I was free.

The thing about shame is that it dwells on the past. If I get locked in it, I can’t move forward to the next moment. I can’t restart in shame. But my body is moving on. It’s digesting what I just ate, and it’s going to eliminate it. Take a cue from your body, and do the same: toss shame.

Feel the freedom of an immediate restart. Feel the strength it gives you. Feel the joy. Breathe. Believe “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” Romans 8:1.

Everybody who wants a restart, gets one. Even the thief hanging next to Jesus was forgiven the moment he asked, even though he’d just been mocking Jesus right along with the thief on the other side. It’s never too late to restart, to repent and believe again. God gives us “a thousand brand new starts.”

Grab one.

Fasting is another way to restart. It’s more than just waiting until you’re hungry to eat, a fasting-between-meals. I’m talking about giving up something you love for the 40 days of Lent or going without solid food for 24 or even 72 hours. Google how.

There are all kinds of ways to take a break from chewing, and they’re all helpful in taking a step back and starting over, learning to eat again with more intention, appreciation, and self control.

Jesus didn’t say, “If you fast….” He said, “When you fast,” don’t show off. Sounds like he assumed we’d do it, Matthew 6:16-18.

10. I can trust God to help me.

This plan rests on 2 truths, and maybe you’ve already picked up on them. But just in case you haven’t, here they are:

Truth 1: You can’t do this! Losing weight and getting fit and making all the right choices you need to make after making all the wrong ones is impossible to do in your own strength.

Truth 2: But Jesus-in-you can! Asking for his help and trusting him to do it for you will give you such relief and strength, you just won’t believe it.

There aren’t magical words to say to get his help either, just a simple, “help!” is enough.

But you’ve got to believe he’ll come through for you.

If you’re drowning, it doesn’t do any good to holler for help and then fail to trust the person who shows up. You’re at his mercy, so you cooperate. You lie back and let him save you.

This is what you do when Jesus saves you, too. You’re at his mercy, so you cooperate. You lie back and let him save you.

It’s important that you let yourself feel the relief of his rescue. Let yourself feel the hope that with his help, you can make it. Let the fear fall away. He’s got you. Let yourself relish it.

When you’re trusting, believing, depending on Jesus so that you can feel it, your joy is flooding, and you can walk away from what’s tempting you. Maybe it’s because the fear of being fat forever is gone, and the pressure to perform is off, and you realize all is never lost.

Successful living is not on you, whether it’s eating right, exercising, being kind to kids, or spending wisely. (Fill in the blank ______ with your definition of successful.)

Successful living is on Jesus to carry for you. This is why he came–to save. This is what he’s really good at doing.

So call on him often and let him save you. Let him walk you out of your fat suit, the way he walked me out of mine. Because he will. He literally died and rose to do this for you.

Knowing that Jesus has got you will make all the difference.

A parting thought…

The time will come when you realize your beauty is fading, and your looks will never make you happy. If they didn’t when you were young, they surely won’t when you’re old. If you don’t find something outside yourself, something permanent that gives you value and joy, aging will sneak up and crush you. If you don’t have your roots deeply in the Rock of Ages, the Source of Life and Love, you’ll wither before your time.

Psalm 92 says that those who are planted in God’s house flourish like a palm tree. They’re “fresh and green,” still bearing fruit in their silver-haired years. What’s their secret? They praise God. “My God is good and strong and holy,” they say. And they beat a path to his door to hangout with him, Psalm 92:12-15 NIV.

Planted and praising. These folks didn’t wait ’til they were old to seek God. They didn’t suddenly start praising. Planted implies that their roots go deep, because they’ve been there a long time. They’ve weathered storms and come through them, like palm trees do, supple and strong, flexing and rebounding.

I planted an apple tree three years ago that still hasn’t borne apples. It takes time for the roots to go deep and the branches to get strong to bear fruit. The tree that bears fruit isn’t the one that got planted yesterday, it’s the one that was planted years ago.

If I want to be a flourishing tree in old age–fresh and green, bearing fruit–what will it take? Trusting God, planting in his word, praising and proclaiming his goodness. This is my plan for the rest of my days.

Endnotes:

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree…planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘The Lord is upright, he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.’” Psalm 92:12-15 NIV.

Jesus said, “…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free,” John 8:32 NIV.

The story of the thieves who were crucified with Jesus is in Luke 23:43 and Matthew 27:44.

Jesus gives fasting advice in Matthew 6:16-18.

“…a thousand brand new starts…” are lyrics from Big Daddy Weave’s song, Stay.

An abbreviated version of this story is also published here on “Grit and Grace Life.”

Here are “The 10 Truths…” for reference:

1. I can stop dieting and start living.

2. I was created to be free.

3. I can eat any food I want–do I really want it?

4. I can eat anytime I’m hungry.

5. I can make healthy choices.

6. I can manage treats.

7. I can focus on living.

8. I can celebrate healthy choices.

9. I can push restart now.

10. I can trust God to help me.

You can find Part 1 of “The Ten Truths…” here.